What is being “a parent” or “a child” all about?
The relationship between a parent and their child is often influenced by the limitations of what these roles are or what each one believes they should be. However, even when the relationship begins with the limited ideas about these roles, with awareness gained through interactions in the relationship, you and your child can expand and blossom as individuals, transcending the limitation of these roles.
Your relationship with your own parents may have been unbearable. Simply because they were your parents does not mean they were capable of loving you as their child. In fact, those who cannot love themselves can rarely love their children. You may think you get nothing from that relationship, however, all relationships offer something, because every person you meet in your life has a “gift” called “awareness” which can add to your life and expand your possibilities.
Even if you were raised by a parent who could not love you, you have the choice not to label yourself as “unloved” or “not worth being loved”. The reality is your parent was just incapable of caring for you. You always have the choice of caring for and loving yourself no matter what your life was like with your parent. No one is capable of caring for you as you would like them to. It is YOU who can do it for yourself.
You can expand the identity that was formed by the relationship with your parents. This is exactly what is called “creating your life”. Remember, a parent and child relationship began as roles and does not have to continue this way. You can go beyond the limitations of those roles, eventually.
When you are able to do that, your relationship with your parent could change. This is because your point of view, behaviours and how you perceive your parent would have changed. However, simply because you have changed, you cannot expect your parent to change too. If your parent does change, that is their choice.
As a by-product of you changing, however, your relationship with your own child could become rich with possibilities. Children long for their parents to go beyond the roles that were formed in their relationship with their parents and to instead operate from their heart. Children will do anything for you to be who you really are, instead of acting from the expectations of the parenting role. They really want to see you.
I am not saying the roles of “a parent” or “a child” are just limitations. They are sometimes effective and important. At the same time, if you stay within the framework of those roles, you will not have the chance of experiencing the unknown you who actually has unlimited possibilities.
Why not utilise all the resources and “awareness” you can gain from the relationship with your parent and expand out of your own role and receive the supportive energy of your child in doing so.
Now is the time to step out of your comfort zone and tap into the unknown you, beyond your role as the child of your parents.
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