How is your parenting working? Doing well? That’s great! Whatever you are doing, you may want to continue doing it.
If it is not working, you may want to consider that you have been listening to other people’s point of view too much and you may be judging yourself and others based on their values?
We are in the world of massive information, including various points of about food, parenting, education, relationships and spirituality. The information is there to help make greater choices in life with more ease and possibilities. The aim is to make life more enjoyable and NOT to judge yourself and others, isn’t it?
I can tell you this, because I used to be the collector of information, analyse and judge myself and others with it. Why? I was seriously thinking that I was making my and other peoples life better. I believed “I was not good enough” and “my son or daughter is not good enough” and “they have to catch up with others or be accepted by others.” Ultimately, I was not trusting myself and my own children and my choices. So the fundamental motivators are fear, distrust, projection, expectation and separation.
It was about comparison and competitiveness with others and being acknowledged and accepted by others. Therefore, any information I came across, became the source of judging myself and others. This may limit possibilities of your child, yourself and your parenting. You may be multiplying judgments and getting yourself stuck. Information and advice overload with judgement can lead to getting stuck in your way.
And if people judge you for making different choices and being a “unique” parent, then be that! If it is required for your parenting to work for you and your child, then go for it.
You know what? We usually don’t know why they are doing what they are doing and don’t know much at personal level. What you don’t know always looks “weird” anyways. Be daring to be “weird” one, because being weird become alternative choice for other people. You are unique and so is your child. What works for you and your child may not be the same as other people. What works today may not apply tomorrow.
If you are stuck in a situation, then you may want to go to the people or friends who don’t judge you even for “the worst” situation you think you have created. You may not want to ask someone who add more judgement to your situation to help you, even though you and they think they are trying to help you. Because there is no wrong situation to begin with. There is no right or wrong choice in parenting. Just choice. Choice that works and doesn’t. That is all.
Remember that information are there to help your choice, not checking or judging yourself or others due to the belief that you are not good enough. So don’t get other people’s judgement (points of view, values and belief) get in the way in your parenting.
Trust yourself, your child and trust your choice for possibilities for both of you.
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